Many people like Paul exist who do things we don't like

And a link to the above words of the song:

-someone who was seen as growing too big for his furry boots!

I often choose not to say much in relation to Paul’s activities except to him privately. Today I am moved to say something. Some of you will probably find it controversial and I am willing to run the risk of being accused of some sort of insensitivity to all the ‘wronged’ people.

It’s like Paul represents something to all the people that feel upset by his actions. That is not Paul’s responsibility.

When I hear people ‘complain’ about how Paul has treated them, it tells me more about that person’s insecurities and lack of safety than it does about Paul’s inability to show respect.

There is a lot I don’t like about the way Paul goes about things and I have travelled through the path of dispute with Paul but, if one is prepared to see him differently, he is a great teacher (albeit in the worst possible way).

The point is that Paul exists and so do many other people who do things we don’t like. So how do we include them without complaining about what they do or adopting a ‘victim’ position in response to their actions or creating an enemy image or setting a standard for how anyone should be. Paul is representative of those people in society and he’s in your (and mine) life today.

The funny thing is that having travelled through the path with Paul from anger to resolution, I have come to like him, trust him and respect him and I believe that to be reciprocal and now I just don’t have ‘incidents’ I have plain talking conversations where boundaries are set and kept to. And I’m open to the idea that it could change and I have a choice at all times in how I feel and how I respond.

Maybe (and this requires a bit of a leap in thinking) Paul actually does have (in the words of Marshal Rosenberg) a great crap detector and he is simply mirroring back (probably in the worst possible way) the incongruity he experiences between how people perceive themselves and what they actually put out.

I guess I sense the risk I am taking in outing this material out – but what the heck, this is a ‘grown-up’ audience who can all take responsibility for their own triggers (isn’t it?)


Zelly Restorick meets Paul & discusses Social Marginalisation -prophetic in relation to subsequent communication between us :-(

Graham and the £6000